What one thinks is the gift of gab, is really the curse of chatter. Factual evidence has shown that the mouth of the talker often consults with online sources in how to cast off this spell of overzealous speaking. I’ve even seen the tongue of these people crawl out of the word exhaust pipe (the mouth) on its hands and knees panting, delirious and plead to its owner, “Pleeeeeeease…..I beeeg of you. Shuuuuut uuuup!” It has been said that these folks like to hear themselves talk, but unfortunately, their ear drums invested in some ear plugs to block the constant noise and are unable to listen intently to the speech shot aimlessly.
Once the motor mouths start firing on what seems like 8 cylinders running on E85, the winds of B.S. start to blow changing the atmospheric activity. Heck, Katrina probably wouldn’t have been a cat 5 hurricane if the people behind the Fox News desk hadn’t partaken in yap like it was a dish in an all-you-can-eat buffet line. The body tries to give its signals like a manager brushing and stroking himself in a baseball game to alert that enough is a command and not an option. In fact, hoarseness to a person is the voice box removing the rifle from the rack above the fireplace and giving warning that it’s about to clean the guns.
My thoughts and prayers are with whoever picked the short straw and was chosen to sacrifice their working day to converse with this type of person because you don’t know what word is going to be the hot button and trigger a six hour verbal road trip. Do you know why the BP oil spill wasn’t taken care of right away? A fast and steady stream of stupid was leaking out of the mouths of babblers calling attention to government aid louder than the catastrophe on the gulf.
Some career advice for those whose mouth doesn’t comply with current regulations and functions with the mute button disabled: TALK RADIO. At least there you can get some compensation for annoying the Jesus, Joseph and Mary out of people. Who knows, you may even bump Rush Limbaugh and become the “Windy City” of human talk. When a “yes” or “no” answer is all that’s required, this person(s) insists that a vocal essay with voice double spaced and in 12 font is a must. Escaping from this conversation is like the seven year itch that just won’t pass over while in its final stages. Their voice is like getting stuck behind a slow moving vehicle but cannot move around it because you’re in a “No Passing Zone.” You’re caught in a web of chatter, and like rocking a car back and forth when stuck, the only way out is the smile and nod method. More than once has mail been accidently forwarded to these people’s mouths when addressed to “the city that never sleeps.”
Would it be cruel and unusual punishment if we sentenced their tongue to decompose like that Happy Meal from McDonalds that a person kept on the shelf for six months straight? Possibly, we could pull the conversation that these people obtain in BULK from the shelves at Sam’s Club. Just claim to them that it bears the same defect that Toyota had—unintentional acceleration—and doesn’t know when or how to stop.
Once the motor mouths start firing on what seems like 8 cylinders running on E85, the winds of B.S. start to blow changing the atmospheric activity. Heck, Katrina probably wouldn’t have been a cat 5 hurricane if the people behind the Fox News desk hadn’t partaken in yap like it was a dish in an all-you-can-eat buffet line. The body tries to give its signals like a manager brushing and stroking himself in a baseball game to alert that enough is a command and not an option. In fact, hoarseness to a person is the voice box removing the rifle from the rack above the fireplace and giving warning that it’s about to clean the guns.
My thoughts and prayers are with whoever picked the short straw and was chosen to sacrifice their working day to converse with this type of person because you don’t know what word is going to be the hot button and trigger a six hour verbal road trip. Do you know why the BP oil spill wasn’t taken care of right away? A fast and steady stream of stupid was leaking out of the mouths of babblers calling attention to government aid louder than the catastrophe on the gulf.
Some career advice for those whose mouth doesn’t comply with current regulations and functions with the mute button disabled: TALK RADIO. At least there you can get some compensation for annoying the Jesus, Joseph and Mary out of people. Who knows, you may even bump Rush Limbaugh and become the “Windy City” of human talk. When a “yes” or “no” answer is all that’s required, this person(s) insists that a vocal essay with voice double spaced and in 12 font is a must. Escaping from this conversation is like the seven year itch that just won’t pass over while in its final stages. Their voice is like getting stuck behind a slow moving vehicle but cannot move around it because you’re in a “No Passing Zone.” You’re caught in a web of chatter, and like rocking a car back and forth when stuck, the only way out is the smile and nod method. More than once has mail been accidently forwarded to these people’s mouths when addressed to “the city that never sleeps.”
Would it be cruel and unusual punishment if we sentenced their tongue to decompose like that Happy Meal from McDonalds that a person kept on the shelf for six months straight? Possibly, we could pull the conversation that these people obtain in BULK from the shelves at Sam’s Club. Just claim to them that it bears the same defect that Toyota had—unintentional acceleration—and doesn’t know when or how to stop.
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