The following blog contains sarcasm that may or may not be suitable for all readers. Please feel free to take a complimentary Bounty paper towel off the roll located at any one of the nearest exits and dry yourself off from wording that will release a strong mist of satire. If at any time you feel offended or no longer amused by the content in this passage, it is asked that you click the red “close” button up on the right-hand corner of the screen or the blue “back” button on the opposite side. Doing such really doesn’t put a knife in my back or hurt my feelings since I am not able to see you leave in the first place. So, if you think that a dramatic depart will turn the faucet of my tear ducts on, much like they do whenever I watch Marley and Me, you’re probably going be about as effective as a paralyzed mime.
Have you ever read an article online, and then stuck around long enough to browse the comments left at the end of the reading? I have to admit that I have lingered around afterward to see what some people have thought and the positions they hold. After all, everybody has the right to voice their opinion, but not every opinion is right. What baffles me is the fact that a story won’t be on the screen for more than five minutes and somebody already practices their freedom of speech—because it’s “constitutional” to do so. Are you really that bored? Get a life! I’m pretty sure that Kmart has them on blue light special today so grab a cart and stock it full. Don’t forget to ask the associate checking you out about the extended warranty that comes along with it. You never know when it might be a defect. Then again, this outlet store has a mission to sell only products busting a gut with quality. If they didn’t, then why else would Jaclyn Smith take time from making soap operas and write her signature on everything she endorses.
I understand that you are more than likely shaking your head at me right now which is the same thing I do when I read some of the dribble that people put as a response. This group of people have a Doctorate degree in turning freedom of speech into freedom of stupidity as it just drools from their fingertips, to the keyboard and then in crucifix form on the screen. If you could play statements that they write in reverse and listen to an inner message, there would be a devil-like voice that would proclaim, “FAIL!” Were these people born dumb a**es or does it just come easy to them? But unfortunately, you can’t back mask something that has been written like you could a cassette tape back in the early ‘80s. Oh wait, you can! It’s called reading between the lines, and right now it says how much real estate in their brain has been rented out to a lady called Mary Jane.
Like a coin that is quite mutilated, I can’t make heads or tails of what they have stated. Their thoughts are like those Youtube videos that play faster than the internet is able to download. The hamster wheel’s transmission is slippin’ so to speak. What does not help is the over abundance of spelling errors that are peppered throughout the reply. I want to put in response at times, “To whom can I dedicate this spell check application called a DICTIONARY to?” From what I hear, Congress passed a law that every household gets one of these free each year so apply for one. The government is busy doing a whole lot of nothing, so it may take a while before you receive a credit. Much like when the converter boxes were in high demand.
It is always such a joy to watch two people sit behind smoking glass mirrors called a computer and duke it out with each other. A UFC fight set to internet chat, if you will. Hop into your little Hybrid car, put it in Drive and waste your time traveling the freeway like a nomad. You would have had more use of your day than debating with somebody whose IQ is the same size as Sonic the Hedgehog’s wee wee. If you converse at all with these folks, you might as well send yourself postage paid to the “Stupid Convention” or Smallville; whichever stop comes first.
I need to stop abruptly. The true colors are shining through like my male PMS.
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