No Sense in Common with the Brain

Let me start off by saying that it has been a while since I polluted the blogosphere with content derived from the four little walls called my brain.  In fact, Funny Bone Laugh Lines came over to the door with a cocktail drink in its hand and introduced itself to me as I signed in.  It was nice of it to do so, but an even better gesture was that it finally paid the water bill and got the faucet flowing with sarcasm once again.  So, with that being said, dim the lights, watch where you step and prepare yourself because the tongue lashing will be like Free Willy performing tricks in the Sea World of satire.

Have you ever looked somebody in the face and point blank thought to yourself, Were you born a dumb a!# or does it just come easy to you?   It’s true.  After spending millions of dollars on research funded by a generic, Flavorite-type stimulus package, I have come to the conclusion that some people (underline “some” and dress it up with italics) do not come with the minimum requirement level of common sense that it takes in order to perform certain entry-level tasks throughout the day; such as, getting out of bed, getting dressed, DRIVING A CAR, conversing without one’s tongue being “all thumbs”, or simply just writing their name on a pertinent piece of paper.  In the 21^st century, a voiceover can be heard in the delivery room drowning out the crying baby as it says: “Mr. and Mrs. Johnson, meet the new addition to your family, a bouncing baby boy!—Common sense sold separately.” On the menu of life, the two side orders that come optional with this dish are common sense and street smarts.  Try not to spit it out on the bib, because to a select few, it’s like meat to a vegetarian.  A caption of the poster child for this type of individual would read, “Not thinking for oneself—it’s not just for the legally incompetent.” NBC once aired an expose on this quality and reported it working a 9-5 cube job as a telemarketer trying to sell its soul while cold calling selective prospects.  I urge some to give it a 30 day trial by typing “Der Der Derr” as the promo code.  Scientific findings indicate that common sense is NOT a creeper to the brain, and therefore should not have a restraining order put on it. The pay per view match that will leave you dangling like a bad hang nail involves two Abbott and Costello-like fighters:  Book Smart vs. Common Sense Dumb.  Come early.  Get a good seat.  This duo defines the meaning of photo finish. I hate to break it to ya, Common Sense, but you are about as outdated as the Hillary Clinton headband. Good Luck to you anyhow. 

With a curve ball thrown at a portion of society, I returned to the mound like Nolan Ryan as he tossed the first pitch of the World Series and realized that I may still have a little heat left in me.  I decorate the last portion of this passage with the retro-sheek look embossed in the title of a hit show from the 70’s, “Welcome Back, Kotter.”